funny how things are in life ...
i swear things work out sooo weird for me. what i want is what i get and it seems how it just slips right before me before i can get a good grip around it. so hear it goes. there is this guy that is into me i know it he calls me all the time and blah blah blah ... but i have no interest in him what so ever. but the guy that i am interested in gives me mix signals up the wahzoo. lol why can't it just work out the way i want .... i like the guy he likes me back ... black and white. and the other guys just looks at me as just a friend. no no no. it has to be complicated. so this guy i like or into or whatever u call it. i tell him well somewhat or he kinda beat me to it, that i am "into him" well he seem to be agreeing with me and was "into me" as well but after that lil confessions of a teenage young heart it went kinda down hill... awkward and blah. so how ironic that is we said we like each other but it went down hill after we kinda told each other. isnt it suppose to go uphill???
ironic how i found compassion and companionship in the last person i would ever think i would a random friend that i look at as my mirror image of myself.
ironic how one night i am the most oblivious and bleh person i seem to attract some guy i barely spoke two words too and when im out on the look for guys nothing happens.
i think i am the most ironic person ever or ironic things seem to happen only to me. lol
why can't life be just black and white ... u want something you go for it and get it.... but that wouldnt make life as interesting as it is.
i always go through life trying to have no expectations and trying not to get my hopes up for things b/c i know if i do i will get hurt in the end or just be disappointed.
i tell others to always look at the bright side of things but damn i don't seem to do that myself. i try to think so realistically where everything that is realistic is usually the harsh negatives. seriously reality bites where things don't go as they should, not as peachy as you see it on the small screen or in the theaters.
i always see my future as a lil tv drama or comedy, where in the end after all the drama and conflict it seem to work out. but i know life is not like that its a fantasy we all seem to have this infactuation with. hoping that at the end of our hour of conflict it will just be find and if not it would be continued for the next time we return to it.
if it could only be that simple.
i want my future to be filled with simplistic excitment. where within all those glitches in life in the end it seem to be blissful and forgiving. if that makes any sense. i don't want a daily routine to follow but i don't want a life on the run where no direction. but i want a balance of both. if that is even possible.
everyone says that i over analyze and think too much ... yeah i do .... but in the end after the hard thinking and over analyzations i seem to find a lil more peace after i set out all my puzzle pieces out .. and find a game plan to assemble it all together. that is why i think so much.
the world is filled with oops and woopsies that is why you have to kinda take it in one at a time but when it starts to stack up set them all out like puzzle pieces and find a corner to start with. look at the picture as a whole first then start looking at one piece at a time.
i swear sometimes i think i am my own counselor. welps that was my thought for a couple of pennies.... | 